99 problems and CCR

People frequently tell me that I am positive. Well, I'm positive about one thing right now. This weather sucks. And it's making me sick. Quite literally, but also figuratively. Apparently it's also causing me to write in fragments.

Problem: Weather in NYC
Let me be real with you. The weather right now is like an old lady's bathwater. Only cold. And it smells like cats outside. Cats and cod, because I live on the outskirts of Chinatown. Maybe that's perch I smell. Which is not to say that Chinatown (or China, for that matter) smells like perch, but the 5-block stretch down Chrystie past Bowery is just not a good place for me at 6 in the morning, or anytime past 4 in the afternoon. The weather and moisture doesn't really do much except amplify that smell.

Solution: "Who'll Stop the Rain," Creedence Clearwater Revival
Sure. CCR is "older." Aged, we'll say. But, like a fine wine, CCR just continues to get better with age, except for the part where the Fogertys had a ridiculous falling-out and basically tore apart the band.



Facts:
1. CCR is one of those bands I dig out every now and then. This song was originally released as part of a double-sided 45 in 1970, and it's one of two "rain songs" CCR has penned and thrown out to the public as a platinum winner.
2. CCR is frequently mislabeled as "southern rock" even though these guys are all originally from the Bay Area. Though, it should be noted, both the Bay Area and the South, are, like, totally rainy.
3. I also missed this band on trivia last week and regrettably suggested that Doug Clifford was someone else's drummer. I'm an idiot. The category was "Hall of Fame Bands and Their Drummers."
4. CCR has got to be one of the most popular bands to emulate as you start your music career. It seems like everyone started as a CCR-cover band. Kurt Cobain even did.

Problem: Justin Bieber



Solution: At a loss. He is everywhere.
I am not heartless. I am not deluded. I'm sure Justin Bieber is a nice guy. I'm sure he has a devoted fan base and a loving family. I really do believe that there are pre-adolescent girls everywhere probably sweating ferociously at the thought of the new Tiger Beat and licking posters of JB wherever they may be, who would probably claw my eyes out if they could read this random internet site.

I also have no doubt that there are numerous acts out there, with little to no talent, roughly as famous if not MORE famous than this Justin kid; on the other hand, I'd bet most of my possessions that there are equally as many acts with far more talent, too, that aren't blowing up. Has this kid even finished third grade? How are you allowed to sign a record contract when you haven't lost your baby teeth? Are we experiencing Aaron Carter deja-vu?

I'm also completely aware that while I have a personal, cultured hatred for him with very little (if any) foundation in reality, he actually does possess legit singing talent and managed to hook it with Luda! for a video that takes place in a fucking bowling alley.

I just also remember hearing one of his songs for the first time and thinking, "Oh. That's a boy?"

It's weird. Because I actually admire this kid for that earlier part - the bowling alley/Ludacris stiz. Gotta hand it to an 8-year-old who can strut with the man that recited verse after verse about how he took women to poundtown on the 50-yard-line and transformed Ray Charles into a pop icon every rapper wanted to sample (second place, Kanye, sorry).

I still just don't understand how he his sniffles were a bigger tweeting topic than Haiti.