Bienvenidos, amigos. I just got back from the land of sunshine and beaches, old ruins and Colombia- closeness.
Right now, I'm tightly wrapped in blankets on G's childhood bed, where it feels like it's 40 below here in Baltimore, and I think I left part of me in Panama. That might explain why I'm so freaking cold.
Let me start at the beginning, like any good story. We arrived in Panama City lateish, and I went outside to talk to one of the men organizing cabs. Don't ask me how I can magically communicate in Spanish now, except for the fact that it was my New Year's resolution. But I can. So we got a cab with what seemed like a very nice, normal individual.
First question: "Ingles? Espanol?"
My response: "Ingles, por favor."
His reaction: Continues to speak in Spanish for a good five minutes.
After arguing about nothing for a good five minutes (establishing very firmly how much we'd pay, where we were going, over and over, as our driver insisted that if we paid $30, he'd be forced to take the 45-minute long way, but if we paid $33, he could take the 25-minute shortcut) G pointed out that he had asked us if we wanted to speak in English. That was maybe the crossroads. Our humble cab driver started with his mind-control hypothesis. Everyone in the world, but primarily in former Soviet Bloc countries and the US, is under serious mind control. How, you may ask? Low-frequency waves.
Second question: "Microwaves?"
His response: "No. Waves like...low frequency. All over."
My reaction: "Oh. That makes sense."
Also of note: there are massive WOMDs in Alaska.
Third question: "Like, nuclear weapons?"
His response: "No, MUCH bigger."
My reaction: "Oh. That makes sense."
G's reaction: "I've been to Alaska and I didn't see them. Why is that?"
His response: "They hide them."
Apparently, these "they" are very secretive, elusive, and crazy smart. "They" also control the weather. "The flowers can feel it," he went on. "It's in the air." When pressed for more details, he explained that China is also taking all American jobs, and Italy's building roads in China to improve the infrastructure, one can assume only so that the two countries can collude to overtake the US.
It should be noted that throughout the cab ride, K tried to redirect by pointing out the beauty of the stars, the casinos, and the roads. To no avail.
Monday was Carnival. In New Orleans, we celebrate Carnival by getting stupidly drunk and wandering around the streets for hours, intermittently stopping to eat or catch beads that are launched at you. In Panama City, things are similar. You wander around the street for hours, getting stupidly drunk. Instead of beads, you can buy small bags of confetti (notebook paper hole punches) and throw it at unsuspecting kids. I definitely got nailed by about 89 small Panamanian children. I would usually kneel down and curl my finger at them, willing them to try and get me, which typically creeped them out towards the end and kept me safe.
Monday night we all had a little too much fun, which ensured that we felt hideous on Tuesday morning. It also made possible the fact that upon returning to my bed at 3:30 AM (in time for one hour of solid spins-sleep) I chucked a box of candy that G had placed on my bed at the poor girl sleeping under me. No real reason why. It was in my way. Chalk it up to dangers of hostel life, girl.
Picture this: still-dark, early Tuesday morning, we board a 4x4 to the San Blas islands. As I held my head and my stomach, still wearing the clothes from the previous night (I figured that since I'd slept about an hour, it didn't matter), we stumbled to our car. All I could speak were simple sentences.
There were two terrible girls in the van with us. I left G's art in the van, by the way. As A and I boarded the van, I asked why they were going to the San Blas. It was maybe the only nice thing I uttered all morning. They rolled their eyes and responded, "Like, it's where EVERYONE goes." Dude, I didn't know we were, like, in the Valley.
These girls continued their reign of terror during the whole car ride as I plotted how to safely vomit on them without injuring any of my friends.
Things I know about these girls: they hate Panama, they hate chicken, especially pollo asado, they hate sand, they hate sun. Which begs the question: WHY ARE YOU GOING TO REMOTE ISLANDS?
At one point, J, who was sitting near a window, had it open partially. He was in the front seat. Terrible Girl #1 goes, "Do you think you could let ME of have some of that air?" I've never been in a girl fight but I came pretty close. J was nice to her. G kept quiet, but later said she would've responded, "Maybe if you were hotter," because it would be a nice opportunity for a double entendre.
San Blas Islands, in a nutshell: amazing.
Friday we returned, where I had promised to make a playlist for a sweet hostel in Panama City known as Luna's Castle. Once, it was explained to me how that name came to be. But I still always picture that strange Nickelodeon show, "Eureka's Castle" when I hear the name. It was suggested that I write a whole thing about Relic, which is a great bar inside the hostel. And you know what? I could, and the playlist would be sick (although a few of them have already been included). You should go and experience it, because I don't think anything I could write could capture what happens in Panama. And in the meantime - check out these guys.
Theme: Recovering. Back to life, back to reality.
1. Earlimart "We Drink on the Job"
Great anthem. Interestingly, the song glorifying drinking on the job isn't really bar-play-appropriate. Earlimart is a cool group - indie rock out of L.A. (not as cool as indie rock outta NYC, but still). I actually hate L.A., so not cool at all. But they're still cool, and music out of L.A. is generally cool.
2. Ryan Adams, "English Girls Approximately"
Ryan Adams continues to be one of my solid favorites. A good-looking man with a troubled past who plays (equally well I might add) country and folk and rock? Sold. Those are basically my requirements for any life partner, it seems.
G volunteered that relationships with me generally require that you:
1. Sing well (sorry, no points for trying but failing)
2. Like dressing down/share an appreciation for plaid or flannel, or both
3. Used to have problems
4. Like rock and roll and understand its roots (rock didn't start with Def Leppard)
Ryan Adams meets all these criteria but alas, he also is married to Mandy Moore. Go figure.
3. The Hollies, "Jesus Was a Crossmaker"
Originally by Judee Sil, beautiful song. These dudes just got inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2010. Highly underrated group.
4. Monsters of Folk, "Say Please"
This type of band is called a Supergroup. Basically, individuals from various good bands get together and form a sick band. So, what do you get when you put together two gentlemen from Bright Eyes, one man from My Morning Jacket, and one man from She and Him? Monsters of Folk.
Love My Morning Jacket and She and Him, but tend to dislike Bright Eyes and Conor Oberst in particular (find him kind of whiny). But in this song, this group, and in the song "Bowl of Oranges," I'm sold.
5. Beach House, "Take Care"
Beach House is the best. I like their whole sound.
6. Bob Schneider, "40 Dogs (Like Romeo and Juliet)
I don't know what it is about this song, or about songs with the number 40 in them (remember my obsession with Ed Sharpe and the 40-Day Dream). But this song is clutch. Also, maybe I have to listen to the lyrics more carefully, but I don't get the oblique R&J references in here or the connection to dogs.
7. Avett Brothers, "I and Love and You"
Easily the MVP spot on this album. Friend of mine told me to listen to them, and I kept putting it off. Not sure why - I take music recs pretty seriously - but just was always too busy or finding my own music. Ironically, on the drive home from the airport, G turned up the radio to this College Park station and this was on, and I was floored. Finally listened to them, and love them. LOVE them. Double points for Brooklyn in the song. Triple points for a song I can identify with. And quadruple points for a really, really good-looking set of guys, now that I've seen the video.
8. Tom Petty, "It'll All Work Out"
Easily one of my favorite Tom Petty songs. Tom Petty has gotten me through most of my life and he'll continue to. Poorly constructed sentence, well-constructed thought.
9. Tim McGraw, "Telluride"
Probably a little self-indulgent. Love me some Tim McGraw. Thank you, GVS, for making me listen to him back when I was a freshman in college and converting me to hold a strong appreciation of country so that, in reality, the only music I really don't enjoy is death metal.
10. La Rocca, "Roadway Hymn"
Irish band straight outta Dublin (what up study abroad!). I met a really nice gentleman when I went to Ireland. I studied mostly in the country, out in a tiny town named Tralee, and his name was A (names withheld to protect the innocent). We held hands and talked about music. So I'll always have a soft spot for the green land. These guys have toured with Phoenix, which makes them fantastic.
11. Oddisee, "Hip Hop's Cool Again"
In any good recovery playlist, you have a pump-up song with a solid beat. Welcome to Oddisee. Catchy lyrics too.
12. Florence + The Machine "Kiss With a Fist"
Flo and the Mac. Good girl-led group out of the UK. Her motto? "A kiss with a fist is better than none." Well. Ok. We agree.
14. Throw Me the Statue, "About to Walk"
This song is nice on the album, but better acoustic, so here you go. Love some Seattle folksy rock. I still don't know how I initially missed this band (they've been around for a while!) but I like them a lot.
15. Warren Zevon, "Keep Me in Your Heart"
Zevon was so weird, but so great. This song comes off as sad, and I mean, I guess it is. But I like it because the words are straight up stupidly beautiful. And Zevon's guitar - it's always simple, but exactly what the song needs. There are songs out there that have serious guitar craziness going on, strums/chords/www.guitar.comshit going on, but I prefer simplicity.
I'm going to leave all you people with this, as I board a bus to NYC today. I highly recommend leaving your life for an extended period of time.
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