when it sounds like the world is falling, part deux

"Oh Jesus."
That, my friends, is the sound of G, my roommate, exclaiming. Usually characters in stories exclaim something, but no, G was just exclaiming. At what, you may ask? At the world falling.

See, the shoe rack phenomenon has infected the whole apartment now, to the extent that every and anything is falling apart before our very eyes.

Today, I came home to a toilet that was blatantly refusing to cooperate. I know that's kind of gross to write about, you know, toilets, but that kind of stuff happens in life, and this is my life. It wasn't gross stuff happening, but it was obnoxious. Especially obnoxious because my realty company cum super can't function at a very basic level.

Let me walk you through a conversation with my Super. We will not call him Super man. We won't even call him Super. His name is Ivan. Every time I call him or interact with him, like when he yells at us to recycle (and I'm not hating on the environment, I do recycle, but I hate that he yells at us when we're clearly downstairs, sorting our trash), Ivant to throw up.

Conversation
Scene 1: B, dialing number. Waits.
Picks up on other end: "This phone number has been disconnected..."

Wasn't that great? I felt twice as good. The next logical step was to call G and hear her exclaim. Then, I called our realty management company. The one that you can't find listed ANYWHERE, because don't worry, I don't think they're legal or legit. I also think they are still adding random stupid amounts onto our bills. All of which also make me vant to throw up. Ivant to throw up right now.

I called the realty company and left a very forceful message. I am not good at being mean, and I honestly believe that you get more bees with honey than with vinegar, but these people are pretty ridiculous. Then G called, and she said she would continue calling every hour on the hour until they picked up. I should note that we both dialed the "Emergencies only" extension, which turned out to simply waste MORE time and forward us to a different recording with the same voice that merely promised us more urgently that we'd receive a response "as soon as [dique] possible." That's probably 238947230 dog years to the idiots that run my apartment building.

So, fearful our toilet is going to flood the apartment, I finished a whole book. Those statements do not logically relate at all, but nothing else of note happened during that time.

You're probably thinking, well, so what sounds like the world's falling? I'll tell you. Shortly after G arrived home and called the realty company (as promised), and even more shortly after we finally established contact with Ivan (who apparently has his phone set up to give that wack recording), and shortly after our upstairs neighbors put a note under our door asking us if we wanted to share our internet connection with them, we heard a mighty crash from the bathroom. The shower curtain fell. Just clean fell off the wall. I should mention it also fell while I was on the phone with G earlier that day, but those things generally happen to me when I'm by myself so I wrote it off. But this time, it happened with G too, which means it technically also happened TO G.

Picture this: me and G, struggling, me semi-standing, semi-falling into the bathtub, attempting to replace the shower curtain. It magically appears to not fit anymore or to wedge into either side of the bathroom walls. It's now too small. It won't extend. G deems it "rotten." I laugh so hard I think I'm going to pee in my pants, which is a veritable impossibility without unfortunate outcomes seeing as how our toilet no es bueno. I get my camera to take pictures of the sad shower curtain, and our arms ache from trying to hang it. We are both trying in vain to figure out how it just "happened." We decide to blame it on the realty company.

:)

DOWNLOAD:
"Girlfriend" - Phoenix (off the new album)
Anything by Drake (remember Jimmy from Degrassi??)
"She is Love" - Parachute (they played a benefit concert for me when I was a senior in college, on top of a tiny hill. The guys are really nice, and they've got a good sound!)
"Sour Cherry" - The Kills
"Laundry" - Say Hi
"A Town Called Malice" - The Jam